Автор: Тимали (Timali) ()

Lion’s kiN II: Simba’s Shame

Страница 1: <p><strong>Kiara:</strong> I’m Kiara, Simba’s headstrong daughter! I’m so headstrong that sometimes I even go out of my room without Dad’s permission! Ain’t it reckless? I’m also fallen in love with about the first male lion I ever met (apart from my Dad), Kovu. He’s been trained to avenge Scar and kill my Dad, but because I’m blindly in love with him, I doubt he’s going to do it.<p><strong>Kovu:</strong> I’m Kovu. I was handchosen by Scar to be his heir to the throne. My life used to have just one objective: to kill Simba and become king. Then I met Kiara, and my main objective now is to score with her!<p><strong>Zira:</strong> I’m Zira, Scar’s widow! I’m training the outlander lions so we can take back ou Pridelands! And where were we during the original movie? Don’t ask me, I only work here.<p><strong>Simba:</strong> Remember the lion from the first Lion’s Kin movie? It’s me, Simba. I’ve become more muscular, bigger, and more conservative. In fact, I’m an old fart now. But I’m not a tyrant to my daughter, Kiara; I just don’t want to let her live her own life.<p><strong>Nala:</strong> It’s Nala, Simba’s wife. I won’t be appearing in this movie much; my main jobs as a queen is to sit in the background and smile at Simba. In fact, this speech bubble is about half as long as all of my lines together.<p><strong>Nuka:</strong> I’m Nuka, Zira’s son. I’m jealous at Kovu who gets all the attention of my Mom. Why can’t she even look at me? I’m stronger, wiser and more handsome than that termite Kovu!<p><strong>Vitani:</strong> You know, Nuka, I’m more a man than you are. I’m Vitani, one of the Zira’s pride as well. I look and smile like a male; that’s because of my mother’s genes.<p><strong>Timon and Pumbaa:</strong> Hidey-ho! We’re Timon and Pumbaa, every kid’s favourite comic reliefs! Unfortunately, this time the lions get most of attention, but we promise, that we’ll be appearing more in Lion’s Kin 3, Timon and Pumbaa show, every TLK merchandise and all TLK DVD extras!
Страница 2: <h5>Picture 1</h5><p><strong>Rafiki:</strong> Whoa, waidaminute, Simba! You had a boy cub in the first movie, and now you have dis girl. I’m sorry, but we’ll have to leave one of them out of the movie.<p><strong>Simba:</strong> Okay, dump the boy. I never got to know even his name, anyhow. Chaka, Kopa, Tanabi or whatever. We’ll go on with Kiara.<h5>Picture 2</h5><p><strong>Simba:</strong> Kiara, slow down! You mustn’t go yet!<p><strong>Zazu:</strong> Yes, Kiara, you should be careful because of those evel lion, outlanders.<p><strong>Simba:</strong> Umm… Zazu? Has something happened to you? You sound different.<p><strong>Zazu:</strong> Well, they didn’t get Rowan Atkinson to cast me anymore. And boy, were all those TLK nuts mad when the movie was released!<h5>Picture 3</h5><p><strong>Kovu:</strong> What are you doing?<p><strong>Kiara:</strong> Excuse me?! I thought you were the one who started all that growling, hissing, and menacing prancing about.<h5>Picture 4</h5><p><strong>Kiara:</strong> Ooooh, you were so brave down there with those crocodiles!…<p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Uh, I just bravely, boldly, ran away, if you didn’t notice… whereas you saved my life…<p><strong>Kiara:</strong> I think I’m falling in love with you!<p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Well, you’d better be quick, then. Our parents are about to interrupt us, and we’re not going to see each other in years after this!<h5>Picture 5</h5><p><strong>Simba:</strong> Zira! You were banished from the Pridelands! Get out of here!<p><strong>Zira:</strong> Not until you tell me, why exactly were we banished! It’s never explained in this movie, and the audience will be confused, since it isn’t told what really caused this war between our prides!<p><strong>Simba:</strong> Then you’ll have to tell me first, who’s Kovu’s real father, if Scar isn’t!<p><strong>Zira:</strong> Never!<h5>Picture 6</h5><p><strong>Nuka:</strong> Wait a second, who are you? Some of those pridelander termites?<p><strong>Vitani:</strong> No, it’s me, Vitani! I just look so different as a cub than as an adult in the intro page of this comic.<p><strong>Zira:</strong> I’ll train you, my little Kovu, to become our king as Scar wished. We’ll intensify your training tomorrow. Say bye-bye to nice and happy childhood!
Страница 3: <h5>Picture 1</h5><p><strong>Zira:</strong> Allright, you folks! Today we shall be learning the basics of making and controlling fire, using opposable thumbs and standing on two legs on this training camp.<h5>Picture 2</h5><p><strong>Rafiki:</strong> Vader… I mean Mufasa… What can we do about the two prides? And what about me, talking to some leaves and hearing dem answer back?<p><strong>Mufasa:</strong> Firstly, go meet some good doctor. Secondly, we’ll be Kovu and Kiara’s matchmakers!<h5>Picture 3</h5><p><strong>Timon and Pumbaa:</strong> You see, Kiara, your father uses the same methods in bringing up children as Marlin in “Finding Nemo”; he doesn’t want anything to happen to you, and so he put us to stalk you during your first hunt… Umm, Kiara… Why the grin?<h5>Picture 4</h5><p><strong>Nuka:</strong> Hey, I came here with Vitani. Who are you?<p><strong>Vitani:</strong> Don’t you recognize me? I’m Vitani! They just forgot to colour my black ear rims in this scene, and made my eyes look red instead of blue (though you can’t see it in a black-and-white comic.)<p><strong>Nuka:</strong> *sigh* I wish they’d have afforded to get your character design stay consistent.<h5>Picture 5</h5><p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Grr! Roarr!<p><strong>Kiara:</strong> Geez, can’t you talk like all the other animals in this movie? What’s that roaring and growling supposed to mean?<p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Hey, remember I’m for some time the bad guy of the movie! I have to look and sound intimidating!<h5>Picture 6</h5><p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Why do you hate me? Even if I’m Scar’s heir, I’m still not his son and not related to him!<p><strong>Simba:</strong> In the first draft of the movie you were! That’s enough a reason to me!
Страница 4: <h5>Picture 1</h5><p><strong>Kovu:</strong> This is what it is like to have fun? This is… fun! Yee-haw!<p><strong>Kiara:</strong> Hehe, yee-haw! Wow, has he been living under a rock! Doesn’t even know what “having fun” means! Hmm, having a trained assassin meet a bimbo princess might provide chance for some interesting character development!<h5>Picture 2</h5><p><strong>Kiara:</strong> …or maybe not.<p><strong>Kovu:</strong> So this is the great turning point in out romantic teenager lovestory, and they’re playing our song now.<p><strong>Rafiki:</strong> In Upendi!<p><strong>Kiara:</strong> Upendi? It means a cheap, trippy lovesong, doesn’t it?<h5>Picture 3</h5><p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Man, this is one corny dream sequence. How many more scenes do we have to copy out from the original movie?<p><strong>Simba:</strong> This dream is actually really clever; it shows how my past still haunts me. And by you having that scar in the dream, this dream forebodies your struggle with Scar being your fath… umm… something.<p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Whatever. The way you keep screaming “NOOO” in this dream still sounds corny.<h5>Picture 4</h5><p><strong>Nuka:</strong> *cough* They can’t kill me, can they? We’re in a Disney movie! I’m the funny sidekick! Sidekicks fall of cliffs or get pianos dropped on them all the time, but they can’t really be killed, right?? This is a child-friendly Disney movie, isn’t it?<h5>Picture 5</h5><p><strong>Zira:</strong> You’ve killed your own brother! (Okay, not directly, and yes, fans keep arguing wether you’re brothers or half-brothers, but you get my point anyway.) And now look at yourself! You already looked so much like Scar, but now you had to go and get his trademark scar, too!<p><strong>Kovu:</strong> Well, sorry for hitting my eye into your paw, mother.<h5>Picture 6</h5><p><strong>Simba:</strong> Okay, now we’ve banished Kovu with the help of all you animals from my kingdom. But it’s not over yet, the outlanders are still planning to attack us! My fellow antilopes, giraffes, elephants and other animals; you’ll surely join your King in the fight against outlanders?<p><strong>Animals:</strong> Nope! We’re going to run as far away as possible when the fight begins! We may be nasty enough to bully together a lonely, banished lion, but not crazy enough to be loyal to our King and fight for him!
Страница 5: <h5>Picture 1</h5><p><strong>Zazu:</strong> Look out! The producers went cheap and we’ve got replicated animation walk cycles! It’s the attack of the clones!<h5>Picture 2</h5><p><strong>Pumbaa:</strong> This is interesting. The number of the lions is inconsistent and keeps changing, but nobody seems to actually get dead!<p><strong>Timon:</strong> Mathematics doesn’t seem to be a strong area for movie animators. Remember how ten lionesses successfully drove away some three hundred hyenas in the ending of the first movie?<h5>Picture 3</h5><p><strong>Kiara:</strong> Dad, this senseless violence has to stop! The hostilities between the two prides will eventually hurt every single one of us. For the sake of our future, we must learn to coexist peacefully!<p><strong>Simba:</strong> Oh, if only your naive logic would work in the place which we call “real life”… Try saying the same thing to the guys in the Middle East!<h5>Picture 4</h5><p><strong>Zira:</strong> You may have gotten a happy ending now, but I will return in countless fanfictions and forum discussions! I’m part of the Lion King universe now, and there will be an endless cycle of forum threads in which fans will speculate my origins, relationship with Scar and the father of my cubs! My legacy will live on! Mwahahaha!<h5>Picture 5</h5><p><strong>Simba:</strong> I had kicked Zira’s family into the desolate Outlands to starve, and they had made detailed, gory plans of killing and overthrowing me. But we’re all good now! We just decided we’ll all be friends from now on! Everything’s forgiven! We are one! Peace, man!<h5>Picture 6</h5><p><strong>Somebody:</strong> How are we going to continue from here? Hyenas have disappeared, Scar and Zira are dead, outlanders joined us… all the villians are gone and there’s not much romm for the next moneygrubbing sequel!<p><strong>Somobody:</strong> Thank godness! That’ll mean there will be less chances of the “Lion King” franchise becoming another “Land before time” with six hundered sequels!<p><strong>Somebody:</strong> Hey, who are you? I’ve never seen you before!<p><strong>Vitani:</strong> Oh, I’m just Vitani! Now that the two prides made the peace, all of us outlanders mutated into pridelander-lookalikes for the ending scene!<p><strong>Animals:</strong> What are those silly lions are celebrating again?